From: The Office of Dr. Andrew D. Atwood, Marriage and Family Therapist
Re: Your Frustrating Marriage Problems
Date:

Greetings, and Welcome . . .

How hopeless are you?

This is a tough question to ask right up front, but most of the people who arrive at this website are pretty darn frustrated and they are looking for some hope . . . almost any hope.

I’m here to tell you that there is a well-founded hope, and it can be YOURS!

• Hope for more intimacy between the two of you and less distance and withdrawal
• Hope for more cooperation and less conflict
• Hope for better communication and less of the “silent treatment”

No doubt your confusion, pain, and exasperation has you wondering if anything could possibly help. That seems to be a pretty universal feeling.

“Okay, okay, but is REAL CHANGE possible for ME?”

If you want it enough and if you work at it enough in the most effective ways, you will increase your chances enormously. ENORMOUSLY.

You are not alone in the struggle. Did you know that 49.7% of all the households in America today are occupied by people who aren’t married! Unbelievable. The Census Bureau tells us that only 50.3% of all the households around us are occupied by married people.

And it is the struggle for
EFFECTIVE CHANGE
that has brought you here.

“I’m here to tell you that THERE IS HOPE, there is AN ORDERLY PROCESS to change, and right here is where you will find TAILORED TOOLS AND ADVICE that can help YOU!”

It’s been said that there is nothing as certain in life as change itself. Well, things have certainly changed since the 1950’s when Ozzie and Harriet Nelson and Ward and June Cleaver were our ideal families! Wow, those days are gone, aren’t they. Maybe you don’t even remember them, but at my age, I sure do! A lot of us have grown up in families where our own parents struggled. And even if our parents did have an ideal marriage like the Nelson’s and the Cleaver’s, the world is so much more complex today.

Who are our role models?
How do we learn to get along well?
What can we do to CHANGE for the better,
and NOW?

STAGE #1 - PRECONTEMPLATION. You have probably moved beyond the first stage of change, what has been called “precontemplation.” People who are precontemplating change aren’t really very motivated. Usually at this point people are disheartened and hopeless, or just so uninformed that they have no reason to think any work on their part will pay off. You are past that and getting ready to Change.

What will work?
What should YOU do next?

At least, you will want to answer the following critical questions. There are a lot more, a whole lot more, but this list will suffice for now.

• What is working well between the two of us?
• When are my basic needs being satisfied?
• What specific conflicts are we each facing?
• Do we each have the inner strength to face the challenge of change?
• Are there good support systems around us?
• Is there a critical issue facing us that must be addressed right now, before we can go any further?

Don’t get too anxious about all the questions you should contemplate at this point. I have pages and pages of questions to help you in an Appendix, but I’ll get to that in a minute, because. . .

This is where my eBook,
You Can Save Your Marriage,
will be very helpful.

While you are still contemplating the changes you must make in your marriage if it is to survive, you need to increase your understanding of

• Who you are,
• Who your partner is,
• And what it will take for the two of you to have a strong and healthy relationship.

Think about putting a jigsaw puzzle together. What do you do first? You put all the pieces of the puzzle on the table, and you turn over all the pieces so they are face-up. Then you start with the corners and straight edges, colors that match, etc. You employ a “change strategy.”

Now it is time to face-up to the real issues before you, and my eBook has been designed in large part to help you to make sense of the puzzle that is your marriage.

• The PREFACE is built around the work done by Myers and Briggs. In it you will learn about 4 types of temperament and how they get along with each other.
• The 120 page BODY OF MY EBOOK, You Can Save Your Marriage, will turn the pieces of the marital puzzle over so you can see exactly what is going on within each of you, and between the two of you.
• The APPENDIX has a long, very long list of questions that should be considered during STAGE #2, and STAGE #3 of the Change Process. With this questionnaire you can both contemplate and prepare for the change you will make. You can work up a strategy for change.

Critical to your preparation is a thorough
examination of who you are, and who
your partner is. There is no sense in divorcing someone you don’t even know!

Research using the work done by Myers and Briggs has indicated the following:

You are going to want to understand yourself, and your partner, as part of your PREPARATION for ACTION. That only makes sense, and you know it’s true.

You are also going to want to understand what a healthy marriage is and how a healthy marriage works.

This is where my ebook, You Can Save Your Marriage, will be so very helpful. After 27 years of working with couples in my office I was asked by a local group in our community to put on a 5 week seminar that described what it took to be “married well.” The Board of Trustees of the Fountain Hill Center where I work then gave me the money to print up my work into a little booklet. In 2001 I wrote a longer version, You Can Save Your Marriage, and began to make it available through the internet. What a thrill this has been! It too has changed and morphed into the enlarged version I offer right here.

Before we get to STAGE #4, ACTION, let me give you the Table of Contents for my ebook so you can see all the important information I cover. Here it is.

You Can Save Your Marriage
Table of Contents

Welcome and Introductory Overview
Preface: What Type Of Person Are You Two Anyway?

• Are you a Ready Adventurer?
• A Loyal Caretaker?
• An Authentic Idealist?
• Or a Careful Thinker?

  Table of Contents
  Chapter One:
            * Your needs and wants are at the center of your struggle.
  Chapter Two:
            *The 4 Killer Viruses that are attacking your marriage, and           the 2 Careers that can kill your marriage.
  Chapter Three:
            *How close to death is your marriage? Let’s check your           relationship’s vital signs to find out.
  Chapter Four:
            *The single most powerful and effective antidote for your           dying marriage is a strong, centered, and healthy YOU.
  Chapter Five:
            *Why you must have a strong heart and soul to resuscitate           deeply connected intimacy back into your marriage.
  Chapter Six:
            *Of the three types of healthy marriages, which one is natural           for your?
  Chapter Seven:
            *How to identify the 12 Incubators that breed the 4 Killer           Viruses that are attacking your marriage.
  Chapter Eight:
            *8 Treatments that make up an Effective Treatment Regime           for the 2 Cancers and 4 Killer Viruses.
  Chapter Nine:
            *6 Ground rules that will make this all work.
  Chapter Ten:
            *4 keys to creating health in your marriage.
  Chapter Eleven:
            *The fever of negativity that is sucking the life out of your           marriage.
  Chapter Twelve:
            *4 Prescriptions that will lower the Fever of Negativity before           it overheats you.
  Chapter Thirteen:
            *This medicine is tough to swallow, but if you don’t take it           your marriage will die.
  Chapter Fourteen:
            *How to calm down and hold your own hand in the midst of           anxiety.
  Chapter Fifteen:
            *How to survive the breaking point, when it’s “do or die.”
  Chapter Sixteen:
            *Congratulations! You made it! Here are 9 tips on how to           keep your marriage sharp.
  Chapter Seventeen:
            *When to encourage others to resuscitate their own           marriages.
  Concluding Summary
  Recommended and Annotated Reading List
  Acknowledgements
  Appendix
            A comprehensive questionnaire to help you to work through the 6 Stages of Change.

After you have PREPARED YOURSELF,
you are ready to take ACTION.

STAGE #4 is about taking ACTION.

But maybe you aren't ready to act right now.

Some action is no doubt necessary, but please be carefull! Do the work necessary to prepare yourself.

Remember my old piece of wisdom?

“If you don’t know where you are going,
You will probably end up somewhere else!”

I think that is the second time I’ve said that.

Yes, I really believe IT IS TRUE!

Let me SUMMARIZE MY ADVICE for you.

• Make sure you have CONTEMPLATED your desire for change thoroughly. One good way to do so would be to read my eBook, You Can Save Your Marriage. The Preface will help you to use the work of Myers and Briggs to understand yourself and your partner. The body of my ebook will help you to “turn over the puzzles pieces ” and to understand your marriage.
• Once you are into your PREPARATION use the Appendix to get yourself organized. Follow through and answer all the questions and checklists.
• Stop and review all the material one more time.
• ACTION happens when you put your plan for change into action. Go back to the Appendix in You Can Save Your Marriage and check to see if you are acting in alignment with your plan. Work your plan.

“But why should I trust you and your
Tailored Tools and Advice?”

Excellent question. If you weren’t already asking it, you are probably too naïve to be an effective change agent in your marriage.

You should trust me for 4 reasons.

What I have said so far makes sense to you. I have 29 years of experience as a marriage counselor. I have tailored my advice to four different types of people based upon the obvious fact that we are different from one another and so need different strategies if we are to get along well. You have checked out other “Save Your Marriage” ebooks and their “Sales Letters” (as they are called in the ebook business) have sounded extravagantly optimistic, and to some extent disingenuous.

Dr. Andrew D. Atwood Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Certified Social Worker, Clinical Member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy

Rather than fill this letter to you with “testimonials from satisfied clients” (leaving you to wonder if they are genuine), let me instead give you some more hard, and relevant facts.

1. 40% of improvement in psychotherapy is due to “Client Variables and Extratherapeutic Events.” These include, but are not limited to such issues as one’s severity of disturbance, capacity to relate, ego strength, and ability to identify the real problem. I continue to work hard to address as many of these issues as I am able, and as my creativity will allow me.
2. 30% of the improvement is due to the relationship between the client and the therapist. That is you, and me. Genuineness, empathy, and acceptance are the three big characteristics I am trying to bring to you through my eBook and my eCourses. I trust that you will bring the same to me.
3. 15% of the improvement is due to “Expectancy” and hope. Frankly, I think most of the other “Save Your Marriage” eBooks out there do a pretty good job of giving you hope. The well-founded hope I give you is based not on hype, but on hard data. Let me say more about that with the 4th Common Factor.
4. 15% of the improvement is due to “Techniques.” This, frankly, is rather hilarious to me because so much of the training that professional counselors receive has tended to be in a particular school of therapy. We learn techniques up the wazoo! They account for only 15% of the improvement. Nonetheless, I have included “Tailored Tools and Advice” in my eBook and my eCourses. Real tools that are tailored to the type of people you are.

Let me finish with the last two steps of the Change Process.

STAGE #6 – TERMINATION...

So here we are.

What will you decide to do?

• Will you decide to tackle real change?
• Will you trust me?
• Will you utilize the FREE material on my website to help you to CONTEMPLATE and PREPARE for the change you want to make in your marriage?
• Will you actually ACT by purchasing my eBook, You Can Save Your Marriage?
• Will you read and work the material included in my eBook?
• Will you purchase one of the eCourses being developed and will you work it?
• Will you come back to my website in time for materials that will help you to MAINTAIN your marriage?
• Will you use other tools and resources at your disposal to MAINTAIN your marriage?

Will I be creating “tailored tools and advice” for years and years to come?

Will you be creating a healthy and wholesome marriage for years and years to come?

My answer is YES,
And I hope your answer is YES as well.

You have already begun the change process. That you have read this far is a clear indication of your interest and your positive intent. That is terrific.

One way to take the next step is to purchase my eBook. You can do that simply by clicking on the purchase button below.

That is slightly more than what you would pay me for ½ an hour of therapy in my office.

If you have any problems downloading my eBook you can contact webmaster@you-can-save-your-marriage.com for prompt help. Guaranteed.

Of course, if you have any questions you can always email me. My contact information is below.

And, you can rest assured because I offer a 100% money back guarantee. If you aren’t satisfied, email our webmaster and your money will be returned.

Once again, you can order my eBook, You Can Save Your Marriage, for $49.95 USD by clicking on the purchase button below.

Sincerely yours,

Dr. Andrew D. Atwood
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Certified Social Worker
Clinical Member, American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy

Don’t Forget!
With your purchase you get . . .

• The PREFACE that will help you work through the 4 types of people based on the Myers Briggs.
• The BODY OF MY EBOOK which will help you to understand how a marriage works, what can go wrong, and how to fix it.
• The APPENDIX which will give you a long questionnaire that will help you to PREPARE for the ACTION of CHANGE.

“I believe that we have floundered in the struggle to save marriages because we haven’t understood that the struggle, done well, leads to profound personal and interpersonal maturity, and so, is entirely worthwhile.”